To Death With Nonchalance - Ananya Bhardwaj (Week 12)
I don’t hold in my tears well; I’ve been told many times that I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that I’ve cried everywhere. By everywhere, I mean everywhere. In my house, at school, even at a crossing stop on the road. I know that I’m sensitive and vulnerable, but isn’t everyone? Don’t our tears make us human?
There’s been a large shift in culture to look nonchalant and effortless. From “natural” makeup (can makeup ever really be natural?), “natural” success (is it success if no effort was made?), to “natural” love—we prioritize the aesthetic of not trying.
When I say “natural love,” I mean love as something passive, something to “fall into” rather than diving headfirst; this video essay details exactly what I mean. I agree that love is active; perhaps it is not a choice, but love is seen through actions and the clear execution of intentions. I feel like an old lady whining about how back in the good old days, people still cared—but I don't have those “good old days,” just emotions and wishes left untouched and unseen.
Some of the most influential billionaires have had to do nothing but be born into wealth—and yet they pass their lack of effort off as being the results of a meritocracy. Navigating through a world that rewards this behavior feels like swimming against a current.
There is so much to pay attention to, so much to care about. The environment, politics, your loved ones, your dreams and ambitions, and even yourself—all of these are worth caring about to the fullest extent.
That’s why I never feel embarrassed when I cry in public, why I’m proud to wear my heart on my sleeve and admit to weakness. I love trying as hard as I need to; I love being a caring person. I’m going to cry over movies and books, I’m going to let my emotions run their course as my tears fall down. I’m going to cherish every moment I spend crying.
Hi Ananya,
ReplyDeleteThe title of your blog caught my attention especially with the word and general attitude of “nonchalance” becoming a trend in recent weeks. Reading your blog was super relatable. Love is something that should always be expressed no matter the scenario whether it is unreciprocated or not. And you should never feel embarrassed about expressing your emotions! It shows that you have empathy, a heart and that you are a real person. Loving the things around you never goes to waste it gives you something to look forward to every morning when you wake up and in my opinion that is much better than walking around hiding your emotions behind a mask in hopes to look “cool.” Emotions are present to be expressed!
Hi Ananya!
ReplyDeleteThe title of your blog captivated me, as the word "nonchalance" is something I hear so often in memes and even everyday amongst my friends. With the newborn popularity of being "a nonchalant" person, I find myself succumbing to the trend of showing that you care less. However, I realized that acting nonchalant is actually contradictory. The whole purpose of trying to seem like you don't care is so other people think that, and that shows that you actually care so much. Due to this, I have given up on trying to be nonchalant, and I applaud you for being yourself openly and proudly. It is a difficult thing to do, but as you yourself say: showing emotions is a critical part of what makes us human and suppressing them never has a good outcome.
Hi Ananya! I was so happy when I first read the title of your blog; I’ve been waiting for people to address this trend of being “nonchalant” so I can discuss its cause (more on that later). I never noticed, though, how it goes beyond so much more than being a TikTok meme—you’re so right in pointing out the recent trend of natural makeup looks and natural talent.
ReplyDeleteAt a first glance, nonchalance doesn’t really make sense, especially in the context of the American dream. Shouldn’t we all want to look like we’ve worked extremely hard to get to where we are? There are a few reasons why I think this shift has happened, one of which is misogyny. Being emotional (and crying, as you’ve pointed out) is a trait largely associated with women, and in a man’s world, being feminine is the worst crime you can commit when you want to be successful. Crying is unprofessional, dramatic, and something that we should “suck up” in favor of stoicism. I love that you’re not ashamed of crying or expressing yourself; it's a small way to push back against a society that has made us feel it is wrong to be emotional—that we should fear appearing more like a girl and less nonchalant.
Hi Ananya!
ReplyDeleteYour blog was really impactful to read; especially the part about the obsession of being “nonchalant.” I’ve never been the kind of person who feels things strongly, but at some point, I started holding back, thinking that “feeling” so much would make me look weak. However, you are extremely right, there is power in loving emotions instead of pushing them aside. I think it’s super important to love caring, crying, and feeling. The way you described love as an action, not just as a passive state, really stuck with me. It’s a reminder that the things we have in life, like emotions, aren’t always easy, but that’s what makes them valuable.
Hi Ananya,
ReplyDeleteI was intrigued by how you used the noun version “nonchalance” instead of the commonly used word “nonchalant” in your title. I agree with you that people should learn to express their emotions sometimes; in some cases, some people I know would not even laugh at a joke they would have found funny if they were not so nonchalant. However, I do not agree that there is a lot to care about; I show my emotion when I can and want to, but there are obviously times where I’m just in my own thoughts about something or zoned off while unimportant events happen around me. Humans deserve to show their emotion, and I believe that some people should learn to tolerate more of others’ behaviors. Great blog!