Yumi Liu - Week 15: But Why?
“But why?”
“Why would she do that?”
“Why would he do that?”
“Stop asking why, just watch the show”
I was always attacked with the same answer, “stop asking why.” I always knew of the phrase: curiosity killed the cat, but I never questioned why curiosity killed the cat. My younger self thought the cat was killed because it knew something it shouldn't have, or it died on the journey searching for the answer. From then I never stopped asking questions or finding the rationale for everything, but I kept all the queries and answers to myself. I always thought I kept my curious side a secret because I knew not everyone enjoyed questioning the world or being questioned.
But I didn’t (at least not as well as I thought).
A year ago, a close friend of mine confessed to me what they thought of me. They told me I was weird and almost insane sometimes. They told me I always questioned their actions, their behaviors, and even their feelings sometimes. I didn't know what to say. What's even more scary was that they asked me a question: “do you know you ask weird questions sometimes, why do you ask all these weird questions?”
For all my life, I thought I hid that childish side (https://news.sanfordhealth.org/parenting/why-does-my-kid-always-ask-why/) of myself well and I was sure – even over confident– about my understanding of myself; I have never asked myself why I am the way I am. I have asked myself why do I do the things I do. I have asked myself why do I react to things the way I do. But I never asked myself, I never even began to ponder: Why do I want to find a rationale for everything? Could nothing be irrational?
I was scared of being curious for once. I was scared of finding out something that would dismantle my years of rationale. It wasn't until I took chemistry that I was faced with the same dilemma. Every weekend I had tutoring and self-studied chemistry in an attempt to understand it because I believe that if I tried hard enough and studied enough I would be able to pass because that has always worked. In my world, hard work plus motivation equals a fully logical reward. I tried so hard day and night, from Friday to Sunday and from Sunday to Friday again. I realized not everything had to be reasonable or needed to follow a cause and effect nature.
I still do things on the basis of what should be right but I follow my gut feelings when I think it's right. I no longer run on justification and do things I would have never begun to imagine even if there is no reason to justify me doing it.
Hello (to who may read this blog), I was generally following a prompt: "Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?" I am doing wonderful, please don't send out a concern to the counselor ❤️. I would love for any criticism or advice! Thx
ReplyDeleteHi Yumi,
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading your blog I found myself agreeing to a lot of things. I too have a very curious nature and cannot stop myself from wanting to know the reason behind every action and feeling. Although we take different approaches to this quality, I don’t hide it from my friends and yeah sometimes they are shocked by my blatant “why” but they always answer! I think you should do the same. Being curious is a positive quality that helps us understand everything around us a little more deeply! For example, questioning why certain actions can make our friends upset helps us understand what NOT to do! And questioning the things around us gives us a better understanding of them. I am glad you have expanded your horizons though it's always good to do things spontaneously as well! Thank you for sharing such a relatable blog this week!
Hi Yumi! I have a similar outlook on life that you hold; it’s hard to not find a rational or valid reason for every event or situation. Curiosity is a great motivator, and has led to amazing discoveries and developmoents throughout history. However, rigidity in thinking can result in relentlessly driving oneself to find answers when there simply are none.
ReplyDeleteI was always confused about when to power through a situation and when to back down; the skill of picking your battles and learning where your limits are is one that comes through time and experience. Accepting that some things are unsolveable for the time being isn’t a form of giving up—it’s a form of preserving your own mental energy and taking care of yourself.
Hi Yumi! I love the topic you selected for this week’s blog; it’s interesting that curious, questioning minds are what drive society forward, yet they’re not always celebrated. I’m sorry you had a conflict with your close friend over your curious nature. I don’t think it’s childish at all to ask questions. Maybe something you can explore in your next blog is why children stop questioning things as they get older—is it because they learn the answers, or because of some societal pressure to stay quiet? Or something else?
ReplyDeleteIt’s great that you learned to accept that not everything needs to have a “why” or a rationale behind it. A popular saying goes, “everything happens for a reason.” Though it’s typically annoying to hear (especially after something bad has happened), there is some truth to the saying. Some things are just out of our control and comprehension.